Art & Soul

If you are anything like me, seeing the cover of Art & Soul more than likely has you thinking of Ellen DeGeneres' sit com days and you are now singing the song Heart & Soul (skip to 3:29).

A kind, intuitive friend gave me this book for Christmas and it has taken me about 10 days to crack the cover to truly begin the apprenticeship that is described on the pages in between.

Yes, I still participate in reading The Artist's Way and believe in completing my morning pages, taking walks, completing the activities, including the artist's dates. However this book feels as if it is giving me a deeper connection to my inner artist and allowing that inner child more ways to express herself. It is a different kind of emancipation for my artist. For example, during this week, my tasks are to make sugar cookies shaped as body parts and buy a piece of ridiculous apparel (on purpose this time). I've already gathered my three outrageous facts about Martin Luther King Jr, settling on his favorite foods when I couldn't find a definite on his favorite color. (The other two facts are that Martin Luther King Jr (born Michael until his father changed his name on his birth certificate to Martin) was a smoker until he died (smoking on the balcony of The Lorraine in Tennessee when he was assassinated) and that he read Henry David Thoreau's Civil Disobedience in its entirety a few times in his life.)

Why am I mentioning any of this at all? Well, I am inspired. I have cracked the cover of this book and felt an immediate connection with the words on the pages. I am invigorated and excited about this year long journey of unleashing my imagination. Though to be honest about how I work, it is more likely that I will lose steam throughout the year it could take longer. That is just a realistic "know thyself" tag.

For years now, I have been striving to quit holding back and worrying so much what others think about: my appearance, my writing, my music, my self expression of all kinds. I often scrawl in my morning pages that I need to fly my freak flag with greater courage and confidence, yet usually end up rolling it back up and shoving it back into the darkest corner of the closet the second someone crosses their eyes my way, tsking or admonishing me in some way. I suppose I still am hypersensitive to criticism and still not entirely sure who I am as an artist.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to be able to share without censor or worry. I wanted to tell my story and share my experiences without having to WRITE them. This space isn't meant to be about finding the right words or turning a poetic phrase. This space is for being real. What better way than moving through a book that allows for self discovery and reflection? This book is inviting me to unfurl my freak flag and let it wave proudly, as I stand firm, poised in confidence while shrugging off (or is it flipping off?) the naysayers.

This is the journey. I still plan to stop in with the struggles and celebrations of losing 100 pounds as well...another piece of this blog that has gone away when I gained 5 pounds over break and thought of coming to this space to write about it, but never showing up. Maybe there will be a time for that in a different post.

Here's to new goals and commitments to this blog space.