Boredom

My brother with feet or I took this in NC last summer. My family blew bubbles to honor of my oldest brother who now has wings.

Boredom. The state of boredom is often caused when we are isolated and trapped. I felt this right before beginning my blog today. Sighing. Bored. After watching the video I posted, I realize that having the internet so readily at my fingertips does allow me easier access to passive entertainment. Yep. We delude ourselves to think we are connecting with others on social media and often wind up down the non so enchanted IG or Facebook rabbit hole that is an unfulfilling waste of time. And we haven't really connected. In addition, the echo-chamber is real. Most of the time, we are checking our own social media posts for the likes and comments. We seem to be more interested in the fabulousness we display to the world, than really connecting. We wind up talking to ourselves. This is how I feel when blogging. This is why I eventually lose my momentum and give up. The echo-chamber. Alas, I am here today talking to myself. Sigh. In actuality, I'm glad I found the video I posted about boredom and took time to watch it. It was surprisingly not boring and helped me to realize that boredom is crucial for the creative life I want to lead. As the video played, I snapped off the sitcom repeat that was yammering in the background as filler. I work on my blog and then plan to sit for a bit and lean into the boredom. Once I post this, I refuse to eat or work out, listen to music or play guitar. Not right now. There will be time for that later, after I allow myself to be bored.

In other, journey to lose 100 pounds news, my belly fold is getting smaller. I have not stepped on a scale to see what kind of number pops up because I am enjoying this non-scale victory. I don't want to run the risk of possibly ruining the pleasurable feeling by knowing a number. Funny the importance (weight) we put into numbers. Funny how we allow them to make us so happy or they become a great excuse to fall into a depressive stupor full of self-loathing and rejection. I realize these numbers are not arbitrary, but the significance they have to shift our mood is rather staggering. Maybe it's time to change that. Maybe issue a few arbitrary number to see if it does lighten the load a bit. Maybe if I am 78 today and weigh 17 pounds, I will laugh and not take life (or these numbers) so seriously. I can hope. Welp. Time to marinate in the boredom and let it seep beneath my surface into my inner being. I can also hope for my creativity to be unleashed by basking in the boredom.

Walk in boredom today to find something creative and beautiful + continue being excellent, my peeps.

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