Lent Season

So, it appears that I am a week late beginning lent. I figured this year I won't spend so much time giving things up as adding things into my life.

The short list of additions:

Meditation

Water

Workouts

Vegetable

Meal tracking

Walks

Creativity

It's easy to create a list like this on a weekend, three weeks away from a week long vacation. I am great at making the plan. I tend to suck and implementing the plan and sticking to the plan. This list is rather ambitious on a lazy Sunday. Reality will dig her claws into my flesh tomorrow, when I'm shot out of the cannon and into the grind.

In total transparency, I ended the month gaining back the pounds I lost in January. I spent the week sprawled out on the couch, thinking about what a good idea it would be to work out, but not actually working out. I fluctuated from mouth breathing, lazy couch potato to being the job. I've been exhausted and dehydrated. I've been punchy and irritable.

I regrouped yesterday and today. I've created new plans and created the lent idea today, thinking that adding in the things I would like more of might work better for my inner, rebellious teenager that loves to sabotage the plans I make. Yet again, I'm at the precipice of being so tired of being obese and tired that I'll actually do something about it. Looking out over the ledge, so close to jumping (and hoping the parachute works), as I wonder if that quotation from last week is really starting to seep into my marrow: "What you don't change, you choose."

Will there be effects to the quality of my life (for the better) by making these "season of lent" additions? Will I have the energy to see this plan through? I'm too exhausted to be anxious or excited to start. I'm more lazy, Alice falling down the hole like, growing curiouser and curiouser. I figure it's a good time to just lean into the fall the best I can and rather than chasing rabbits, just allow the hare be rushed, hurried and harried. These 40 days and nights are a great time to prepare for the inevitable thump at the bottom of the drop. I'll regroup then. I doubt I will be offered any psychadelics at any time during my journey, and, to be honest, I'm not even sure that I would partake even I was presented with such a generous offer.

My lent will actually end the Friday morning AFTER Easter. Why not? It's sounds about right coming from me. Let's see what this refigured lent season brings. Maybe I'll be a butterfly ready to emerge with new wing April 9. Or maybe I'll still be a mouth breathing, smelly, fat caterpillar.

Time passes madly on, in spite of my plans and execution (or lack of execution) of them.

Walk in beauty and peace, my peeps.