#Goals

Yet again, life has gotten in the way of my meticulous planning and original #Goals. The stress of work, getting the Covid-19 vaccine, as well as a myriad of other snafus, have all pushed me into the arms of pizza. Even though the pizza fit my macros (FMM), it still wasn't of the cauliflower crust and turkey pepperoni (with lots of veg toppings), closer to being on program, so there is less guilt eating it variety. This was ooey-gooey, real crust, chock full of unhealthy fat and carbohydrate pizza. I did eat only 2 servings on just Thursday night. Though I did have the leftover "pizza bones" ---later that night? Friday?! Mindlessly and unaware, I have no idea when I ate the remaining outer perimeter of the pizza--which is truly the bigger problem. So, all that teetering back and forth between the angel and devil on my shoulders boils down to the fact that one night of pizza indulgence is not the worst thing I could do (cue the Rizzo and replace the intimacy with men with eating different foods). In weeks and months past, I've had plenty of week long Carbopollooza feeding frenzying (that included emptier calories than Thursday's pizza). This really could've been much worse. I could've ordered a pan pizza on a Monday or Tuesday and grazed all week. I could've ordered some sort of empty calorie side and grazed all week. At least week's indulgence had some olives and vegetables on it. I do recognize that I'm moving in the right direction.

So, it shouldn't have been any real surprise that my weight loss this week was less than a pound. I've also not been hydrating correctly. I know not to put a huge focus on scale measurements for a plethora of reasons. In the positive column, my body measurements show a loss of 3 inches from two weeks ago. Yet, in the wide scope of my monthly and yearly goals, I start to feel stressed. I feel like I'm drifting too far away from where I should be and where I want to be. If I don't motivate myself and start working the program today, then I could have no progress to show for February and March. I also recognize that I need to tread carefully here or I could fall down a long, dark hole of Carbopollooza 2.0. In these moments of honest, reflection, I do recognize the need to be gentle without being too permissive. I've been working on looking at my progress like an objective spectator. Taking the shame away allows me room to be honest about how "occasional" the pizza truly is and then change what isn't working.

This is why I come to this blog today, on cheat day. It's for the accountability.

My go to reframe of negtaive thinking when I am disappointed in my progress (when I think I should be farther along, even if I am having small victories) is "at least I didn't GAIN any weight this week". Things are happening even if I can't see them. Corey Lefkowith calls it the "dead zone". When I began working out after a 2+ year hiatus, I was very patient during the 3 months I was in the dead zone, waiting to see the scale result. I took weekly pictures then. This non scale measurement of photographs is something I haven't done in a while. Reflecting on that in this very moment helps me to realize that photographs are something to put back into the plan.

So, this morning as I face the numbers and am gentle with myself, as I plan out the cheats for the day, I also go to the kitchen to be kind to myself and be creative. I made egg, broccoli, onion and cheese cups for breakfast and they were fantastic. I threw this together based on other recipes I've seen before and didn't measure anything. My creation was a bit bland, but still delicious. I also would like to try to make mini broccoli, egg and cheese strudels using phyllo dough.

The journey continues. Mindfulness and accountability are crucial.

#AlwaysLearning #AlwaysGrowing

#Goals

Walk in beauty and peace, my peeps.

Mahalo

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